This is a simple guide to communicating in an assertive manner. Many times we shut down and say nothing because we are afraid of a confrontation with someone. If we learn to be firm, fair, and friendly, we can take some of the fear out of confrontation.

Firm

Know exactly what you need, communicate it clearly, and have solid boundaries.

Fair

Don’t ask someone to do something that we ourselves wouldn’t do.

Friendly

Say it in a friendly manner — this includes your tone of voice and nonverbal behavior.

Karen Kindred Karen Kindred has over forty years of experience in individual and couples therapy. Karen is an interactive, solution-focused therapist. Her approach is to provide support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address personal life challenges. Karen recently retired and wants to share her therapeutic tools with as many people as possible. Karen holds a masters degree in social work and a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Utah.