I heard this saying at a conference and it reminded me of something my sister told me years ago. She moved to a new town and said that whenever she was stopped at a red light and it turned green, she counted to three before she started to go again. This was a precaution she developed by noticing how many people in her new town ran red lights.

If we all counted to three before we opened our mouths, made a decision, or got angry, we would save ourselves a lot of pain. Counting to three doesn’t take very long — but it’s enough time to pause and think and positively change an outcome.

Look at it as a way for you to quickly contemplate what you are about to say. Do you really need to say it, or text it, or post it on social media? Will it really matter or will it just make things worse? Are you really listening and contributing something to a conversation, or do you just want to hear yourself talk?

How many times have you provoked someone on social media and wished the ensuing comments thread would just stop? Think about the sleepless nights you've had worrying about something you said during the heat of the moment that you wish you could take back. Take those few seconds to ask yourself, “why am I talking?”.

Karen Kindred Karen Kindred has over forty years of experience in individual and couples therapy. Karen is an interactive, solution-focused therapist. Her approach is to provide support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address personal life challenges. Karen recently retired and wants to share her therapeutic tools with as many people as possible. Karen holds a masters degree in social work and a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Utah.